Image Credits: MATT BARON/REX SHUTTERSTOCK

If you’re like me, listening to Hillary and Bernie debate and campaign is both hilarious and occasionally painful. Here are my top 10 reactions to Bernie & Hillary this campaign season.

1. Does ANYONE here understand economics?

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Free college tuition. Raising minimum wage. Universal healthcare. My head is spinning. Can we send these politicians back to ECON 201, please? I think we all need a lesson on inflation and spending other people’s money. Where’s Adam Smith when you need him?

2. I think they’re confusing a right and a privilege….

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I cannot emphasize enough that college is NOT a right. It’s a privilege. Providing FREE college for everyone will turn higher education into the hot mess our public schools currently are. I, for one, will happily pay for my school if it means I get to pick where I go, my major, and have job opportunities once I graduate.

3. Have they ever seen the common core curriculum or do they just like alliteration?

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Common core is the brainchild of a broken educational system. Try learning basic math in a common core curriculum and THEN tell me how amazing it is. Or you could just try actually listening to how many students hate it. You know, for the children.

4. Back off the Second Amendment, vultures.

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There are three things of mine you don’t mess with: my guns, my God, and my high heels. Also, I’m not one to disagree with some of the wisest men in history, but if you want to disagree with our forefathers, you do you.

5. I didn’t realize we let middle school girls run for office.

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With all the bickering back and forth and “he said, she said” I am honestly having flashbacks to bad hair and Hollister sweatshirts. We get it. You don’t agree. Now lets discuss the issues, people. We aren’t here to see a steel cage fight to the death (okay maybe just occasionally).

6. Liar, liar, pantsuit on fire.

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If lying was an Olympic sport, I really think Hillary would take the gold. Maybe if I could “explain” my problems like her, I wouldn’t have gotten grounded so much as a kid… or maybe a whole lot more. Can presidential candidates be grounded?

7. For two people who only have minor differences they seem very insistent that they are mortal enemies.

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*Starts singing, “why can’t we be friends”*.

8. Is there an age MAXIMUM to run for President?

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Let’s cap this one out at 70. Bernie is like my Great Uncle Frank. I love him, but I don’t want to listen to him talk about his model trains (or nationalized healthcare) for hours. Most presidents go gray in office, what will happen to one who has been bald for over a decade?

9. BIG. GOVERNMENT. WILL. NOT. FIX. OUR. PROBLEMS.

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Excuse me as I scream this from the rooftops. Every time Hillary or Bernie mentions expanding governmental power, a high heel breaks.  

10. I don’t think I’ve had enough caffeine or Jesus today to deal with this.

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The thought of big government running my life honestly scares me, and I don’t know if I can handle this today. Time to turn off the news and turn on Friends.

Bonus #11: Wow. I’m really proud of Hillary for being the first College Republican to get so close to the Democratic nomination. You go, girl.

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Corrie L
FFL Cabinet Member
Corrie is a Cabinet Member at FFL. She is passionate about coffee, Jesus, and lipstick, and never wears white after Labor Day. If she isn't busy talking about law school or FFL, you can find her studying constitutional law or reviewing a contract. Her plan A is Super Mom turned Supreme Court Justice, and she hopes to one day be just like Sandra Day O"Connor.

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