There comes a time in some friendships when you realize that you need to say goodbye. That’s just reality. Of course, it is never easy to lose someone who has played a pivotal role in your life. You deserve to put yourself first and stop letting others tear you down. The quality of your friends is a lot more important  than the quantity of your friends. If you think you may be in a toxic friendship, here are 5 subtle signs that it may be time to move on.

It’s overly competitive

There is nothing wrong with healthy competition from your friends. I love when my friend’s successes motivate me to do more or be better, but when you have a friend who is constantly trying to compete with you in every facet of life, it may be a friend you want to lose. Having a friend who always wants to one-up you is aggravating. It can cause unnecessary tension and insecurities. If you have a friend responding to positive victories in your life with bragging, jealousy, or becoming defensive about their own life, maybe your friendship should be reevaluated.

You can’t be yourself

One of the best things about friendship is that you can be who you truly are without judgement. When you notice that you are having to hide your views, likes, dislikes, hurts, and passions from your friend, it might be time to move on. Nothing good comes from a friendship where you can’t be upfront and honest. You want people in your inner circle who accept you as you are and love you for being that person.

You are constantly complaining about them  

Every friendship goes through rough spots, but if you are always complaining about how your friend treats you, makes you feel, or talks to you, why continue to waste your time on someone that is only bringing you down? That is the complete opposite of what a friend is. When you constantly talk about your friend, you are just continuing to give them power over your feelings. 

You always feel uptight or stressed when you’re around them

No real friend would always make you feel stressed when you are talking to them or around them. A friend who makes you feel stressed out about life is the type of friend that you do not need. If you feel the pressure to talk a certain way or act a certain way because you don’t way to be the odd person out or lose your friends, you are doing yourself a disservice by not choosing to end the friendship.

It’s always all about them

A good friendship should be balanced. It should not always be about the other person. One of the most frustrating things is when you are telling a story and somehow, no matter what you say, your friend can make it about them. Who wants a friend like that? When a friend is taking more than they are giving, the conversations become very one-sided. In fact, it can make you feel as if you are not valued and your likes, opinions, or ideas do not matter.

If you are seeing these signs in your friendship, it may be time to reevaluate whether or not this individual is truly your friend and someone that you want in your life. Just because you see some of these signs or are having a rough patch, does not necessarily mean you need to dump your friends, but you do want to deal with the issues before become a larger problem. The best indicator of a healthy friendship is being able to communicate with one another and being willing to change your behaviors so that your friendship can prosper.

Kelci W
CABINET MEMBER