Sometimes when I find myself aimlessly wandering around Target with a cart full of unnecessary items, I come across the beauty department and spend entirely too long admiring OPI nail polish. While the colors are beautiful, it is the unique names that catch my eye – some so obvious and others that make me laugh by myself in the aisle. As a young politico, it makes me think, if nail polish colors were politically-themed, what would they be called?
1) Reagan Red (OPI name: Big Apple Red)
Big Apple Red: Bright, shiny, and ready to take on the world!
Reagan Red: Classic, conservative, and ready to tear down the wall!
2) My Private Tapes (OPI name: My Private Jet)
My Private Jet: Luxurious deep black with glints of glamour.
My Private Tapes: Mysterious recorded conversations with a sliver missing.
3) I’m Not Really a Feminist (OPI name: I’m Not Really a Waitress)
I’m Not Really a Waitress: A vivacious Chianti Red.
I’m Not Really a Feminist: The girl who refuses to side with the modern day “feminists” who encourage female empowerment while simultaneously tearing down conservative women.
3) Campaign Champagne Toast (OPI name: Chicago Champagne Toast)
Chicago Champagne Toast: A well-to-do light brown shimmer with a hint of pink bubbles.
Campaign Champagne Toast: A well-run campaign celebratory beverage with a hint of loose lips.
4) It’s All Spin to Me! (OPI name: It’s All Greek to Me!)
It’s All Greek to Me!: This shimmery, hot berry pink shade has all the warmth of the Mediterranean.
It’s All Spin to Me!: This frequent, biased interpretation has all the public opinion in its favor.
5) Capitol Hill After Dark (OPI name: Lincoln Park After Dark)
Lincoln Park After Dark: Where midnight meets purple.
Capitol Hill After Dark: Where midnight meets politics.
6) Hopelessly Encouraging Bipartisanship (OPI name: Hopelessly In Love)
Hopelessly In Love: A pink as true as true love.
Hopelessly Encouraging Bipartisanship: A hope as rare as crossing the aisle.
7) How Great Are your LinkedIn Connections? (OPI name: How Great Is Your Dane?)
How Great Is Your Dane?: Pass up this cinnamon coffee? You’re barking up the wrong tree!
How Great Is Your Linkedin Connection?: Pass up this networking happy hour? You’re missing all the best connections!
8) Lobbying for You (OPI name: Pink-ing of You)
Pink-ing of You: “Loves me, loves me not” petal pink.
Lobbying for You: “Cares about me, cares about a big payout” honest pink.
9) Politicos Rule! (OPI name: Princesses Rule!)
Princesses Rule!: A bright sparkly pink that’s tiara worthy!
Politicos Rule!: An exhausting know-it-all that’s pantsuit worthy!
10) Melania–The First Lady of United States (OPI name: Suzi–The First Lady of Nails)