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If you haven’t read Buzzfeed’s newest article about how victimized we are as women, don’t. If you want to waste a good two minutes of your day rolling your eyes, click here.

This is my response to the “32 Everyday Things Women Do That Men Don’t Have To Worry About”:

  1. “Carrying your keys in your hand as a “weapon” when walking alone at night.”

Yes, because only women fear getting attacked at night. However, males are more likely to be victims of a violent crime. We also have precautions we can take while walking alone; for instance, owning a gun and knowing how to use it, or if that’s not your gig, many other self defense avenue you can take to be pro-active.

  1. “And turning your headphones off to make sure you’re not being followed”

Yeah, again, not something exclusive to women. It is suggested that no one walked with headphones in when they’re alone. Not only because you want to hear if someone is coming up behind you on foot but also by car or even listening for people on bikes who need to get by you.

  1. “Nailing the “I’m-walking-quickly-but-not-so-quick-that-you’ll-sense-my-fear” pace when someone is behind you”

Still not exclusive to females.

  1. “Calling friends when alone in a taxi/Uber in order to feel safe.”

Pretty sure a lot of people do this. Not just females.

  1. “Or texting them your driver’s details “just in case”.”

Okay, this is getting old. I understand that women are more likely to do this, but that doesn’t mean men don’t worry about their safety.

  1. “Messaging them when you get home to let them know you’re OK”

Maybe it’s a southern thing, but I ask anyone of any gender to text me to let me know they got home safely after we leave places.

  1. “Sitting near other women on public transport to minimize the risk of being harassed/attacked.”

I can’t speak on this one as much because I do not live in an area where public transit is something that is common, but this is why I suggest getting your concealed carry permit.

  1. “ Avoiding being out altogether if it’s too early in the morning or too late at night because it doesn’t seem safe.”

Violent crime usually peaks at 10 p.m. and hits its lowest point at 6 a.m.. The buddy system is something they teach all genders. Be aware of your surroundings and don’t go to unsafe locations. Not exclusive to one gender to not want to be alone in risky situations at points of the day that could be deemed as “sketchy.”

  1. “Pretending to be on the phone in any number of situations to avoid harassment.”

This one I don’t even have a comeback for because I am entirely guilty of doing this.

  1. “Wearing a wedding ring to reduce the chances of men hitting on/harassing you, because they respect another man’s “property” more than a woman’s right to say no.”

I’ve never heard of anyone doing this. However, I do know that not hitting on someone with a wedding ring is mutually exclusive. Not because we see that wedding ring as making someone’s “property,” but because we respect someone’s relationship.

  1. “Giving men fake names and phone numbers rather than risking their anger at being rejected.”

I have done this and I know guys who have done this. I do this because I find it funny, not because I am scared of a bad reaction.

  1. “Staying silent when being verbally harassed out of fear if you fight back it’ll turn violent.”

If a guy hits you, do the world a favor and call the cops. That is never okay. I understand being afraid but do not take the abuse. I know it’s easier said than done so we should be empowering women to be courageous in domestic situations.

  1. “Keeping your drink covered with your hand and getting your friend to watch it if you need to go to the bathroom at a bar so that it doesn’t get spiked.”

I actually really like this one. I never leave a drink with a friend or anything. Take your drink with you wherever you go. This is something few men have to worry about so I completely understand this point.

  1. “Making sure a friend always knows where you are if you’re going on a first date with a stranger.”

This is fair. I would also suggest have your location on for your friends as well. Safety matters. Dates with strangers should make most people concerned. Do not go anywhere that isn’t a public place with a lot of people. Never accept a ride and do not allow them to pick you up from your apartment/home.

  1. “Working hard despite the knowledge you’re being paid, on average, less than men in the same position.”

The Equal Pay Act of 1963 states that it is illegal to discriminate pay based on gender. The number that is thrown around often compares pre-school teachers to neurologists. Women typically don’t go into STEM fields. However, this is changing. As it should. The numbers thrown around also don’t take experience into consideration. If you are not getting paid the same as someone to do the same job, same hours, and same requirements, you really do have a lawsuit on your hands.

  1. “Qualifying statements with words like “just” and “sorry” to avoid being perceived as pushy or aggressive.”

I didn’t even know this was a problem. I think it depends on personality type and not so much to do with gender.

  1. “Faking being happy and perky even when you don’t feel like it to avoid being seen as a bitch.”

Be yourself. I know guys who fake attitudes to not seem like a bad guy or a tool. Not exactly gender exclusive.

  1. “But not being TOO perky, so that people don’t think you’re stupid.”

That’s an outdated stereotype. The girls I know that are extremely perky are girl bosses and moving up in the world. Happy people make the world turn. Although not on Monday’s. Stop being perky on Monday mornings.

  1. “Pretending to be patient when you’re interrupted/talked over repeatedly by men.”

I thought I was patient because my parents taught me manners and clearly the person talking over you was not. If someone does this to me, I politely ask them to allow me to speak and if they say no, I remove myself from the situation. I don’t believe they treat me this way because I’m a female but rather they do this because they don’t have manners and they don’t respect others.

  1. “Repeating yourself over and over again to get your point across.”

Couldn’t this be because you aren’t explaining something well enough?

  1. “ Removing hair from your armpits, legs, and bikini line because on women it’s “gross” but on men it’s totally acceptable.”

I’m not even dignifying something like this with a witty response.

  1. “Spending a lot of money each month on period products, which are still considered a “luxury” by many governments.”

Men do not get periods. Could this be why they don’t spend money on them?

  1. “Hiding said products up sleeves or in pockets when going to the bathroom in public places, because there’s still a lot of stigma around periods.”

The stigma with the period thing I understand. but some people hide it because it’s nobody else’s business.

  1. “Making sure the right amount of skin is covered up or risking being seen as slutty/indecent.”

Again, not worth a response. Dress how you want. Who cares?

  1. “Wearing makeup because you’re conditioned to believe your bare face isn’t good enough – or heck, just because you like it – and being told you’re fake.”

Guys typically don’t wear make up so of course, this isn’t a problem they have. However, most guy don’t care about what level of makeup you’re wearing and if they do care that much, should you care about their opinion at all?

  1. “Or not wearing makeup because you don’t want to/cbf and being told you look tired or sick.”

You probably shouldn’t be in a relationship if that’s the case.

  1. “Questioning whether the tweet or Facebook status you’re about to post will result in being viciously trolled/harassed, and having to make the decision about whether it’s worth it.”

Not something exclusive only to females.

  1. “Constantly empathising with male TV/movie leads, and then having to deal with men protesting on the few occasions women are given starring roles.”

When has this happened? I don’t know anyone who says Charlie’s Angels should’ve been guys.

  1. “Answering and/or deflecting deeply personal questions about your relationship status/fertility/home life from family, potential bosses, current bosses, and random strangers.”

Everyone, regardless of gender, does this.

  1. “Taking the Pill if you have sex with men and want to avoid getting pregnant, because there’s still no male equivalent available. “

I hope this is a joke.

  1. “Living with the knowledge that the government (dominated by men) has the power to legislate against your bodily autonomy.”

Ugh. So many responses to this. I will keep it basic. Don’t like men making the rules? Run for office and encourage other women to run for office. That’s #Feminism.

  1. “And dealing with people telling you your concerns aren’t valid and you should stop complaining because “women are equal”.”

I mean, on our rights and legality alone, we are equal. We are equal in the eyes of the law, until it comes to criminal court rooms where women are typically given more lenient sentences. There are no claims we are equal in experiences.

I am believer in feminism, but a lot of the complaints in this article are things that are not exclusive to certain genders or are obvious things that men don’t have to worry about based on biology alone. Instead of shaming men, why don’t we try to have a conversation saying that something should happen with the culture and help guys understand what we go through as women with catcalling. I feel as though the videos of women walking around the streets have been highly effective.

I understand the point of this article, but I am also sick of seeing my gender be victimized when there are things we could do to change it and change the conversation around all of this.

We are women, not victims.

Caroline C.
FFL Cabinet Member
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