We live in a world that isn’t so kind to conservatives, especially on college campuses. People assume that because you’re under 40 you must be a raging liberal, who is feeling the Bern and wants everything to be “free.” False. There are so many young conservatives out there, and we’re slowly but surely taking a stand and making our voices heard. We don’t always have the best experiences when we do voice our opinions. Here are some of the worst things you can say to a conservative.

1. “Female conservatives are an oxymoron”

But you are talking to one, aren’t you? Calling anyone’s identify an oxymoron is a quick way to get yourself slapped, laughed at, or a combination of both. Being a female conservative means that I am a woman who values small government and freedom. What is oxymoronic about that? 

2. “But Hillary would have been the first female president”

She would have also been first president under current FBI investigation, but who is counting? I’m absolutely tired of the gender card. Yeah, having a female president would be a huge step for our country, but not if that female president was absolutely crooked. Why wasn’t anyone this excited about a female president when Carly Fiorina said that she was running? Double standards much?

3. “Don’t you want to have fun?”

Conservatives can have fun too. We just don’t like to compromise our morals, our values, and our country in the process. You do you. That’s freedom for you.

4. “You’re just pro-birth”

Have you ever actually had a conversation with someone who is pro-life? They are compassionate, caring, and believe that every innocent life is worth getting a chance to live. Yes, our welfare system sucks. Yes, our adoption system needs reform, but is murder really a better option? Conservatives are the most charitable group, because they like to support causes that help the very same children they helped win the chance to live.

5. “Republicans are homophobic”

Again, this is so wrong that it is barely worth addressing. There is no group that everyone in the Republican Party hates. Historically, the party may have opposed gay marriage, but so did a lot of Democrats, including Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Let’s face the facts. The Supreme Court made gay marriage legal. Republicans aren’t out actively persecuting anyone, so let’s stop with this senseless, unfounded rhetoric.

6. “Fox News is just propaganda”

Right, Fox News, which was recently found to be the most trusted news source. Fox News, which regularly has extremely liberal commentators and guests on their shows. If you think Fox News is just propaganda, you probably read Salon.

7. “No one needs a gun”

No one? Really? What about police officers, the very people you call when someone you don’t want to see shows up at your house with, what else, a gun? Should they not legally have guns to protect you from the people that will have them whether they are legal or not? What about women who are looking for a way to protect themselves and their families? What about women who have previously been victims of assault and do not feel safe in their own homes? What about them? When you say “No one needs a gun,” all I hear is that you want people to be less safe. Real empowering.

8. “Ronald Reagan wasn’t that great”

Do you hear me go around telling you that Roosevelt wasn’t that great? No. No you don’t.  Telling a conservative that Ronald Reagan wasn’t that great is a quick way to lose a friend and to get yourself sent to the seventh circle of Hell.

9. “It’s a woman’s body… it’s her choice”

If abortion was all about a woman’s body than it wouldn’t involve the death of another body, the body of the baby that happens to be inside of her. Can we also talk about how often abortions end in the death of a female child? What about her body? Why aren’t you supportive of staying out then? The abortion debate is a hot one, and it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. But this is more about personal privacy and the woman’s body. 

10. “Bush did 9/11. It was an inside job.”

This is one of the most offensive things I’ve heard as a conservative. 9/11 was the single worst terrorist attack on American soil, and you seriously think our own government had something to do with it? Whether you like George Bush or not you have to admit that he loves his country. 9/11 was a horrific terror attack perpetrated by…terrorists. Makes sense, doesn’t it? When you say “9/11 was an inside job” you are stomping on the memory of the two-thousand plus people who lost their lives that day and spitting in the face of their surviving friends and families.

11. “Feel the Bern”

For the love of all things America, please stop trying to make Bernie Sanders happen. Bernie Sanders is not going to happen. He’s a 74-year-old socialist from Vermont who knows absolutely nothing about how to successfully run a nation. There is no such thing as “free” anything. The only “Bern” I feel is heartburn when uneducated millennials think that socialism is compassionate or a valid form of government.

12. “The right is waging a War on Women”

The war on women is a myth, an urban legend, an absolute falsehood. Republican women are thriving. That’s why we have such amazing female leaders in the Republican party like Nikki Haley, Susana Martinez, Joni Ernst, and Carly Fiorina. Apparently, no one has informed them that they are victims of the Right’s war on women. 

Aryssa D
FFL Cabinet Member