Something I love about my conservative “family” is how strong we are for each other when things start to go wrong. Now, getting emotionally hurt by a boy is certainly not the worst thing that could happen to a person. It’s hardly the worst thing to happen to me, but it still matters a great deal in the moment that it happens.

I had my heart broken at a conference a few months back and could have allowed that experience to ruin my experience, however; I pulled it together thanks to some amazing friends. Despite my heartache, I ended up having an amazing time. They gave me advice, and I would now like to share the best of that advice with all the lovely girls out there who need to hear this.

God is there.

As cliché as I may sound pointing this out, God is there all the time. Isaiah 43:2 says “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

You are His. He cares for you and has constantly cared for you, much more and for much longer than this boy has even been a concept in your life. Everything is insignificant in comparison to God, who is willing to breathe life into you when you feel desolate. You have the greatest and deepest love you could possibly imagine. You are always able to fall backwards into the arms of the only One who can love you perfectly.

Wrongful actions will be held accountable.

Maybe you two parted in an amicable manner. You, however, might have been wronged by this person. Know that if this person betrayed you in any way, their actions will be judged by God. God is a loving father, and when one of his daughters is wronged, He will hold them accountable. He is a just God, and those who harm his children answer to Him alone.

Surround yourself with people who provide love.

Don’t let yourself be isolated and alone—you will only be wallowing in your misery. You will be consistently surprised by the amount of people who are willing to drop everything to listen to you. People who will tell you that you are amazing, lovely and beautiful. Surround yourself with brothers who offer to beat up the guy who hurt you and sisters who plot to send envelopes of loose glitter to him – though don’t actually let them do this. Surrounding yourself with these types of people will remind you that you are loved and you are enough.

You are worth being adored.

I don’t care what this guy did to you—you are worth so much more than it. Maybe you feel undesirable in the moment, but you are absolutely captivating. You are a remarkable creature. You were given eyes to see the world uniquely. You were given lips to speak your mind and make your presence known. You were given hands to work hard and make an impact on anything you come into contact with. If this guy misses even an ounce of your being, he is not worthy of you. You deserve to find someone who treats you like you are best thing on this planet. You will live an extraordinary life, and you shouldn’t let some silly boy hold you back from that.

Learn to forgive.

As hard as it may seem because of the hurt and anger you feel, try to forgive this person in your heart. You will never be able to let go if you hold those emotions inside of you. They will only grow and fester, and you will continue to feel wretched. You don’t have to say anything to them. You don’t have to be their friend. You don’t have to worry about “saving” them from their actions. Just allow yourself to let go. Release your pain. Provide grace with this, and you will truly come to peace. I pray for that for you the most.

Abby S