Sometimes when I find myself aimlessly wandering around Target with a cart full of unnecessary items, I come across the beauty department and spend entirely too long admiring OPI nail polish. While the colors are beautiful, it is the unique names that catch my eye – some so obvious and others that make me laugh by myself in the aisle. As a young politico, it makes me think, if nail polish colors were politically-themed, what would they be called?

1) Reagan Red (OPI name: Big Apple Red)

Big Apple Red: Bright, shiny, and ready to take on the world!

Reagan Red: Classic, conservative, and ready to tear down the wall! 

2) My Private Tapes (OPI name: My Private Jet)

My Private Jet: Luxurious deep black with glints of glamour.

My Private Tapes: Mysterious recorded conversations with a sliver missing.


3) I’m Not Really a Feminist (OPI name: I’m Not Really a Waitress)

I’m Not Really a Waitress: A vivacious Chianti Red.

I’m Not Really a Feminist: The girl who refuses to side with the modern day “feminists” who encourage female empowerment while simultaneously tearing down conservative women.


3) Campaign Champagne Toast (OPI name: Chicago Champagne Toast)

Chicago Champagne Toast: A well-to-do light brown shimmer with a hint of pink bubbles.

Campaign Champagne Toast: A well-run campaign celebratory beverage with a hint of loose lips.


4) It’s All Spin to Me! (OPI name: It’s All Greek to Me!)

It’s All Greek to Me!: This shimmery, hot berry pink shade has all the warmth of the Mediterranean.

It’s All Spin to Me!: This frequent, biased interpretation has all the public opinion in its favor.


5) Capitol Hill After Dark (OPI name: Lincoln Park After Dark)

Lincoln Park After Dark: Where midnight meets purple.

Capitol Hill After Dark: Where midnight meets politics.


6) Hopelessly Encouraging Bipartisanship (OPI name: Hopelessly In Love)

Hopelessly In Love: A pink as true as true love.

Hopelessly Encouraging Bipartisanship: A hope as rare as crossing the aisle.

7) How Great Are your LinkedIn Connections? (OPI name: How Great Is Your Dane?)

How Great Is Your Dane?: Pass up this cinnamon coffee? You’re barking up the wrong tree!

How Great Is Your Linkedin Connection?: Pass up this networking happy hour? You’re missing all the best connections!


8) Lobbying for You (OPI name: Pink-ing of You)

Pink-ing of You: “Loves me, loves me not” petal pink.

Lobbying for You: “Cares about me, cares about a big payout” honest pink.


9) Politicos Rule! (OPI name: Princesses Rule!)

Princesses Rule!: A bright sparkly pink that’s tiara worthy!

Politicos Rule!: An exhausting know-it-all that’s pantsuit worthy!


10) Melania–The First Lady of United States (OPI name: Suzi–The First Lady of Nails)

Suzi–The First Lady of Nails: Command the political scene in this chic olive green.

Melania–The First Lady of United States: Command the political scene with your impeccable looks and intelligence to match.

Victoria F
FFL Contributor
Victoria is a North Eastern girl with a southern heart, style, morals and the hair to match it. She loves movies with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, pre-ordering her drinks at Starbucks, and obviously America the beautiful.

Read more articles