If you’re single, you know that dating in 2020 is crazy. Dating app culture has created a strange world that must be navigated strategically and, quite frankly, it’s exhausting. Finding anyone suitable to date seems impossible and this hurdle increases substantially when you’re young and politically conservative.

People accurately describe me as opinionated. I’m both a lawyer and a candidate for political office. I serve as Communications Chair on my local Republican Party’s Executive Committee. In addition, I have been appointed to multiple national committees representing Republican women.  Politics is obviously a huge part of my life and I frequently talk about my activism and conservative values. Political talk is normal for my family and Fox News is always on somewhere in the house. I never gave much thought to my politics-heavy environment until I became single and friends started suggesting that I “tone it down.”

The cool part about dating via technology is that it creates an environment for you to choose a potential match based upon similar interests and core values. Whenever I use the dreaded apps, I set my filters to only include Christian men with conservative political beliefs. Whether you meet someone through an app or in real life, establishing attributes that you must have in a significant other are crucial. For me, that is shared faith and political beliefs.

I recently connected with a man on a dating app who seemed perfect on paper or, in this case, screen. He was deeply committed to his faith, smart, handsome, and age appropriate. I was intrigued when he let me know he was politically interested. We also shared a love for boxing. I wondered if he could be the magical unicorn that everyone is searching for. After a couple dates, our differences quickly emerged. I’m a litigator, meaning my career depends on seeing two (or more) sides of an issue based on my clients’ interests. Therefore, I don’t mind when people disagree with me, especially if they are informed and back up their viewpoints with facts. I am proud to announce that I was my most authentic self with this man. I want to be clear – I didn’t instigate political discussions, but I happily engaged in political discourse when he asked. America is the best country in the world in part because we are free to have healthy political debate. This man eventually called and politely said that he didn’t think we were a good match due to our differing political ideologies. Truthfully, I would have done the same thing had he not called me.

If your conservative political beliefs matter to you, there are plenty of men who won’t like what you have to say. You may part as friends or meet someone through them, but it is better to know a relationship isn’t going to work out sooner rather than later. I dodged a bullet and learned from the experience I just shared with you. We all have values and beliefs that either are or are not compatible with the values and beliefs of others. I refuse to start a relationship by living a double life and hiding my priorities.

Ladies, be proud of your conservative values and don’t be afraid to share them with a romantic interest.  If you let him know what he is signing up for, he will either accept it or it will prevent wasted time and heartache down the road.

Monteia is an attorney and candidate for office from Lexington, KY. She is working to change the stigma that millennials aren’t conservative and she is proud to be part of the FFL movement.

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