SATIRE: How To Cope When A Family Member Says They’re Voting For Biden

NOTE: This article is inspired by and a response to a recent Yahoo article, How To Cope When A Family Member Says They’re Voting For Trump.

As if 2020 could get any worse, you just learned that your family member is voting for Joe Biden in November. At this point of the year, nothing is surprising, but you’ll still experience some emotion regarding their decision to support socialism. It’s heartbreaking, angering, and depressing to learn that your family member is voting for a socialist. There are ways to cope with this though.

You’ll likely go through every stage of grief. 

Denial: There’s no way the same family who raised me could raise a Democrat. It’s impossible.

Anger: How could they?! Thousands of babies die every year because of Democrat-supported abortion. Socialism destroys countries! How could they vote for someone who supports these policies?

Depression: I’m heartbroken that they can be so oblivious to the history of socialism destroying countries. I’m also heartbroken that they would vote for someone so anti-america and pro-abortion.

Bargaining: Maybe if I share enough FFL articles and post pictures in my Trump shirt, they’ll read them and realize the right side is indeed the right side of politics.

Acceptance: No matter what I do, my family member is still going to vote for Biden/Harris 2020. There’s no amount of Fox News clips I can send them to change their mind. 

You’ve gone through every stage of grief, now what? 

Read Their Facebook Posts

You’re reading their Facebook posts, but what do you do next? The article they shared is so obviously false, but they aren’t going to listen to their “keyboard warrior” family member. Refrain from commenting and scroll past. It costs $0 to respect their opinion. Remember, you don’t have to show up to every argument whether or not you’re invited. If you have to, “take a break” from their posts until after the election season. They’re probably doing the same thing to you. Even if they comment on your posts, you don’t have to engage with them. Simply ignore or even delete the comment. You don’t want family drama aired on social media. 

Text Them

Are you ready to text your family member and let them know how much you hate socialism? It’s time to pick up the phone. If you’re actively voicing your political opinion on Facebook, go ahead and shoot them a text. Let them know you are willing to talk if they want to discuss differences.  If you’re willing to agree to disagree, talk politics. If not, text them about anything else. Ask them about how their day has been, if the kids are enjoying virtual school, and where they prefer to get their coffee. Relationships are so much more important than a political difference, but it can be interesting to learn their differing opinion and why they believe how they do.

Go to their house

You’ve been on their social media, sent them a text, and are still outraged that they could vote for Biden. Have all of these methods failed? Well, it’s time to go to their house. Gear up, and go sit in their living room. While you’re there, refrain from talking about politics and bring them a bottle of your favorite wine to get through this election season. We all need some.

Bring them food

In the South, we bring food to our sick friends and family members. Since we can’t bring food directly to Biden, make some for your family member who supports him. To make this more fun for you, rename the recipes. Try pro-choice popcorn, socialist spaghetti, and democrat dumplings. Make sure you ration this food between the members of their family so they can get used to socialism. Pre-package the meals to ensure it’s rationed and Covid-free. Bonus points if it’s brunch, since AOC claims we will never experience brunch again. 

Get ready for the holiday season

The holiday season during an election year can be scary, especially if your family disagrees with you politically. Get ready to face them this holiday season by marking them off of your Christmas list, buying their gift, and bringing it to the family party. After all, they seem to be fans of socialism and having things handed to them. You’ll get bonus points if it’s blue or has a donkey on it.