When women get into their early to mid 20s, they suddenly have a desire to start dating, so that they could potentially get married and settle down. It’s normal to want a life partner, to support your in your career, help you with family and personal struggles and start a family with. But in the world of one night stands and swiping right, it’s hard to know what to look for in a life partner.
Someone who shares your values
This doesn’t mean if you’re a Republican you can’t date a Democrat, or if you’re a libertarian you can’t date a conservative or liberal. Lots of healthy, long-lasting marriages have come from two people who don’t see eye-to-eye politically. This doesn’t mean you should ignore political views entirely when dating. Maybe we really value family and the right to life, so we vote for pro-life policies, or maybe we really value hard work and self-sufficiency so we vote against excessive government programs. Our political views don’t equal our values, but our political views are often a reflection of our values.
Someone who shares your religious views
You don’t have to be the exact same denomination as your partner, but if you are atheist and he is LDS that may cause some issues. You should have this discussion early on with your partner. If you are both highly devoted to your faiths, it’s not very likely that either would compromise on converting for the other. But if one or both of you are the same basic faith, but just different denominations, it is a lot more likely. You also have to think about any future children you may have together. Would you raise them in his church or your church? Or would they grow up going to both churches equally? Would they celebrate Christmas? Hanukkah? Both?
Someone who shares your dreams for the future
If you want 4 kids and he wants 3, that isn’t a total dealbreaker. But if he wants 8 and you’ve never wanted kids that might be. Kids aren’t the only thing you have to think about. Where do you both want to live? Near your family, or far away? In another country? Do you want to travel a lot? Do you both plan to work, or does one of you want to stay home? These are things that can often be compromised on, but they’re good conversations to have before both people have invested too much into the relationship.
Someone you share at least a few interests with, but still has his own interests
From the outside looking in, it would seem that my boyfriend and I have absolutely nothing in common. This is far from the truth, but he has his own hobbies that I have no interest in, and I have mine. You don’t want to have nothing in common, because it will make simple tasks like choosing a restaurant for a date night or choosing a TV show to start impossible. But you don’t want everything in common either. You both need time apart from each other to bond with your friends individually, and you don’t want to spend your alone time doing something that your partner will be jealous you got to do.
Someone who makes you excited about life