“You’re crazy”

“You’re over-reacting”

“Calm down”

Every woman has heard these at some point, but what crosses the line? Toxic relationships can be hard because it’s tough to see red flags with someone you care about. It’s even more difficult when your loved one is in a toxic relationship, but they don’t see it. So what are the red flags you should never ignore in a relationship? Let’s discuss. 

Your significant other is unable to have a serious conversation

A serious conversation is necessary for any stable relationship. In order to talk about the future, insecurities, problems within the relationship, or just feelings in general, one must be able to have a serious conversation. This means that there isn’t a bunch of sarcasm, changing of the subjects, or invalidating one’s feelings. 

Your significant other gaslights you

If you’re in a relationship, this can be incredibly difficult to see. Gaslighting is when someone manipulates the other by psychological means into questioning themselves. For example, if A says something to B, and B brings it up later, A would say something like “I never said that, “you’re crazy”, or “you’re delusional.” 

Your significant other has no physical boundaries

Yes, a relationship should have boundaries. An example is when you’re rough housing and they constantly get a little too aggressive or even pushing boundaries with light shoving, pushing, or grabbing you in some way. This should never overlooked.

Your significant other has intimacy overkill

One of my friends was told by her ex that “sex is my love language” but it isn’t. While “physical touch” is a love language, it focuses more on feeling seen or feeling secure. Using sex as manipulation is abuse. It shouldn’t be something that is always expected and it shouldn’t be used against you.  

Your significant other drives wedges in all other relationships

No person should get in the way of your relationships with your parents, siblings, friends, or coworkers. No one should keep you from seeing your loved ones, talking to them, or confiding in them. Any significant other that tries to cut off your outside contacts and isolates you is a huge red flag. 

Your significant other cheated on their partner with you

Yes, it should be concerning if your significant other cheated with you in their last relationship. It is true that people can change, but habits are hard to break. In fact, it may speak to their level of commitment to others. Red flag. 

Your significant other makes negative comments about you to you or others

Your significant other should never make negative comments about you to others. In fact, comments about your personal life, your weight, your looks, or your values should not be discussed with others. A significant other should never say hateful things like “you’re fat” or “you look better with make up.” That is not how you treat someone you care about.

Your significant other practices double standards

If you set rules within relationships, but they can’t follow a rule that they expect you to abide by, run. If your significant other asks you not to stay out past 1 am but they do it, then that isn’t abiding by the rules that the relationship is functioning on. Double standards is a big red flag and can be used as a form of control. 

Your significant other can’t apologize

We all have pride and sometimes, we all find it hard to apologize. We’re all human, but if your significant refuses to ever take blame or apologize for his or her actions or words, it’s a huge red flag. Apologizing shows vulnerability. It shows that your significant other is able to emotionally dig deep and communicate.

Those around you keep warning you about your significant other

Hear them out. It’s important to listen to what your loved ones have to say. They care about you and only want the best for you. 

Caroline C.
FFL Cabinet Member
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