Getting married is a lifetime commitment. It is an agreement before God that you will choose this person every day for the rest of your life. It is loving this person through the best and worst times of your life. Marriage isn’t always going to be easy, but you can make it easier by having some vital discussions before you tie the knot. Here are some things you need to discuss before walking down the aisle.


You must talk about your values as far as religion, politics, honesty, family, work, drugs, alcohol, etc. It is not so much about agreeing about everything but about learning the differences and discussing how to handle it when a complication arises. 


Whether or not you want kids is a vital conversation to have. Talking about what that timeline could look like and how you think you are going to parent children are important discussion. Sharing how your parents raised you and what you liked and what you would do differently are more discussions to have. Being able to come together on these differences is imperative to the future of your children. This is also a good time to discuss the possibility of infertility and what would happen in that circumstance.


Work is something that may seem silly to talk about but finding that work/life balance between two people with jobs can be difficult. Discuss finding that availability to make time for each other. Discussing your dreams about your future in your job or your desires to be a stay at home mom can lead to many helpful discussions, especially about finances.


The leading cause of divorce is due to financial problems so being on the same page when it comes to financials is imperative. Create a budget and see what that would look like. Talk about savings and retirement accounts. Setting realistic expectations for your spending habits and savings is a good place to start. 


Where you spend your holidays is so important, especially if you want to split time between families. This is especially important if your in-laws live out of state. This can actually be really fun to talk about as you can combine traditions and even make your own.


This is vitally important. Setting boundaries and discussing the expectations for your sex life. It can be uncomfortable to talk about but if you believe this person is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you need to discuss it.

Mental health

Mental health diagnoses can be hard for some people to grasp or to empathize with. Discussing any diagnoses you have and how your partner can help you through it instead of encountering it later is best.


Love languages or expressions of love, as well as being able to discuss the tough times and any problems that have arisen, are important. Knowing what form of communication works best for your partner and for yourself in return can really help solve any future communication issues.

These discussion topics lead to much deeper and meaningful conversations that can really bring you closer together or realize that maybe it’s just not the best fit.

Caroline C.
FFL Cabinet Member
Follow Caroline on Twitter!