While summer is the season of romance and heartbreak, it can also be the season of a new, sometimes worse breakup – the best friend breakup. Because summer is such a time of transition, of being away, and of personal growth, it means that it can leave a trail of friendship casualties in its wake. It doesn’t matter if you simply outgrew the friendship or if it ended in a nuclear explosion of a fight – this is a guide to help you get through a very specific type of heartache.
DON’T: Take your grievances to social media
Put down the phone girl, close the Snapchat app, and step away from the social media rage fest you’re tempted to unleash. You may be hurt, frustrated, annoyed, or all of the above, but taking your personal fight with a friend to the public will not end well.
This can stop any future reunion before it even begins by causing hurt feelings. It will let other people come into the argument as well, and the last thing you want to hear is other people’s opinion about your friendship. So don’t post those screenshots, leave the passive aggressive Tumblr quotes on your camera roll, and stay off of those social apps for a hot second.
DO: Evaluate what happened
This one can be hard, and it may be one of the last things you do during this bestie breakup phase. However, every friendship ends for a reason and if you want your future friendships to be better, you need to evaluate what brought an end to your and your bestie’s. This isn’t always a big epiphany or game changer. It may be that you just simply grew apart, but if it was a dramatic end, it’s important to understand what brought you to that point.
It can be easy to blame it all on another person and their flaws in a friendship, but none of us girls are innocent when it comes to girl on girl crimes. Think about where you failed and what you can improve on as a friend. Your next best friend will be all the more thankful to have the best version of you in the friendship.
DON’T: Automatically get a new best friend
It can be super easy to fall into this trap. We all put on a happy, carefree front for social media, especially for those that hurt us to see. It’s tempting to latch onto the first nice girl with common interests and pronounce her your new best friend. You’ll want to throw that label into your next Instagram caption and be sure your ex-bestie can see that you have other friends. Don’t do this.
You are only hurting yourself by doing this mad dash to find a new best friend. Finding a best friend takes time, and no passive-aggressive Instagram post is worth possibly ending up with a toxic new best friend or hurting the feelings of someone that used to be important to you. Take your time with your friendships and find your new bestie in an organic way.