1. I must be Uncle Sam, because I want you.

2. Don’t worry if you’re only wearing stripes because I’ll make you see stars tonight.

3. Between 1 and America, how free are you tonight?

4. Food, Family, Fourth of July, and Fireworks. The four best F words ever!

5. You must have been born in Pearl Harbor cause baby you da bomb.

6. Baby, you remind me of the Constitution cause you look like a national treasure.

7. Why don’t we make like the first 13 colonies AND MULTIPLY.

8. Baby, I’ll make you see stars and stripes.

9. Are you a British Loyalist? Because you’re making me rethink this whole “independence” thing.

10. I don’t normally like girls who wear red coats. But, for you I’ll make an exception.

11. I have a great relationship with my mother… country.

12. I’d start a revolution for your number.

13. I’m glad there’s freedom of religion because I worship you.

14. My flag will never fly at half mast as long you’re around.

15. This would be really awkward if you were British.

16. You’re by far the prettiest girl here. The ‘Liberty bell’ of the ball.

17. Let’s make like Paul Revere and go for a midnight ride.

18. Girl, you’re so beautiful. I’d cross the Delaware River to be with you.

19. You have the right to bear me in your arms.

20. Baby, you have more curves than the Democrat Party line.

21. Excuse me but I’m looking for weapons of a** destruction.

22. I’m free if you’re brave.

23. The Continental Congress decreed ‘all men are created equal.’ But, they didn’t say anything about ‘all women being created equal.’ Because girl, you are too fine!

24. I’ll do your process.

25. I’m arresting you for breaking the 8th amendment because you…are excessively fine!

26. Can I, like, annex you?

27. Because of my rights related to eminent domain, you have to compensate me for stealing my heart.

Kaitlin O
Contributor