Image Credits: Business Insider

Last night, Queen H clinched the DNC’s nomination for president of the United States, and I would like to congratulate her.

Congratulations, Hillary Clinton.  You’ve held a variety of positions; U.S. Senator, First Lady, Secretary of State. With all of these titles and no accomplishments to speak of, I can’t imagine how difficult it was for you to convince the electorate you would fight for them. I’d love to know how you kept a straight face, lecturing Americans about income inequality while you wore a jacket nearing $13,000. I implore you, was it difficult campaigning on your husband’s last name? I bet his connections really came in handy.  How does it feel to know that despite being ridiculously unfit to be Commander in Chief, you have a chance because you pulled the woman card?

Speaking of the woman card, I commend you for parading around as a feminist icon, really, I do. It’s astounding to me that despite how anti-woman you truly are, you’ve been given a free pass because you pander on “women’s issues.” Let’s hope no one digs too deep in that closet of yours and decides to talk about the foreign donations you’ve accepted from countries that horribly violate human rights. It would be a terrible imposition to explain how you champion women’s rights here in America and simultaneously take money from countries that stone women to death for adultery. Oh! Let’s hope no one remembers the time you threatened the women who came out against your husband’s harassment. Sexual assault allegations are to be taken gravely, and I’d hate for you to have to explain how it didn’t apply to your husband when you said “every survivor of sexual assault deserves to be heard, believed, and supported.” Yikes.

Hillz, I applaud you for conning millions of voters into believing a criminal with blood on her hands will be a great POTUS. Scandal after scandal, you have managed to keep your reputation intact. It’s amazing. Travelgate, Whitewater, the Benghazi attack, and being under FBI investigation would hold so many people back, but not you, you little DNC darling. You slide through unscathed and that’s a feat in and of itself. Four Americans died in an attack that you were responsible for, and not only did you pass the blame onto a YouTube video, but you lied to the families involved. Classy move. I hope you know that the commander-in-chief can’t silence their phone for those late night calls.

You’ve managed to turn what should have been a proud and history moment in American history into a horrific and disgraceful affair. You’re the first woman to be chosen as a nominee for a major political party. You’re a power hungry, self seeking presidential candidate and people will vote for you not for your merit, not for your accomplishments, but because you’re a woman… and that is a disservice to women around the world.  Congratulations, Hillary Clinton. You just conned America.  

Danielle B
CABINET MEMEBER
Danielle is a conservative political consultant who aides organizations in communicating their big ideas and empowering leaders. She works with a multitude of organizations, most notably including the American Conservation Coalition, OUTSET Network, and Future Female Leaders. Danielle can't explain why she doesn't need feminism, she's too busy succeeding without it. She likes coffee, capitalism, and proving people wrong.

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