If you thought the Hillary Clinton email scandal was over, you’re wrong. Recently, the State Department, the keeper of the emails as of now, announced that it would take them 75 years, yes you read that correctly, to release all of Hillary Clinton’s emails. 75 years.  The average life expectancy in the United States is 78 years, and the State Department wants to spend a literal lifetime stalling on these email releases. Hillary Clinton only worked in the State Department for four years! The State Department says it can only process 500 pages of her emails a month, and with 450,000 of them to go through, it will take them 75 years.

75 years is a really long time, believe it or not. That is longer than Bernie Sanders has been alive, and he’s pretty old.  75 years? What are we supposed to do while we wait? Well, if you’re looking for something to pass the time, then here are twenty things that you can do in the time until the State Department releases Hillary’s emails.

  1. Graduate college…18 times.

  2. Become a grandparent

  3. Become a great-grandparent

  4. See your children run for president

  5. Go to Mars and back several dozen times

  6. Fly to the Sun, three times.

  7. Grow a full-sized tree

  8. Build dozens of houses

  9. See a tinned steel can decompose completely

  10. Grow your fingernails 107 inches long

  11. Pay off a mortgage three times over

  12. Walk 1.971 million miles (1 mile/20 minutes)

  13. Grow your hair 400 inches longer

  14. Be born…and die…

  15. Befriend a tortoise for less than half of its life

  16. Celebrate a “gold” anniversary (75 years of marriage)

  17. See 150 Olympic games

  18. Build at least half of the Great Wall of China

  19. Dig a tunnel to the mantle of the Earth

  20. Walk from California to Maine and back 104 times.

What will you do to pass the time while Hillary tries to avoid prosecution?

Aryssa D
FFL Cabinet Member